The Thing About Hair (On The Face & Head)

It’s crazy to me that I’ve been writing this blog for nearly a decade (nine years, whatever). In this time, I’ve been able to go deep into my philosophy and codify the things I believe in instead of just saying “I like spearpoint collars and big pants”, even if that is a pretty accurate description of my style. Overall, this blog has been about seeing menswear and getting dressed as one of the most fun, personal activities we can do in our Expressive Lives. Being aware of the expressive qualities of our garments and our overall outfits makes that challenge easier and actually enjoyable; it is no wonder why my Backlog of clothes spans for 2-5 days.

This got me thinking: what about expressive qualities that are not clothes? Obviously personality plays a big part in expression (or at least into how your expression is perceived) and I know for a fact that even though my outfits are typically read as “formal” or “stuffy”, my natural slouch and/or exuberant silliness comes through to subvert it. But this is a menswear blog, so I should keep things about clothing and related ephemera.

Last year I had an essay/pod about glasses, which showed how different frames are utilized in my expressive goals. Prescription eyeglasses help establish your “base” personality while sunglasses are usually the last thing you wear (and can be easily taken on/off), both of which can be subverted or emphasized by your outfit (or vice versa honestly); it just depends on how you want to use them. A few examples: Aviator sunnies help me emphasize the 1970s or militaria; P3-style glasses are perfect match for ivy; and chunky frames with colored lenses add a rakish charm to any outfit on a sunny day. Whether the micro-decision of frame choice comes before or after an outfit is really dependent on what inspiration came first, the call of the glasses or the outfit.

Of course that led me to introspect further and think about what else I use in my everyday expression. Something that wasn’t related to buying things yet had some connection to referencing aesthetics and slightly alterable by mood all while remaining deeply personal to me.

The answer, of course, was hair– both on the top of my head and on my face. And as I’ve come to look at my own journey in figuring out my own approach to hair, I’ve realized just how big a part it plays into my vibe. It also plays with my own philosophy on general aesthetics (aka clothing)!

A Hair Philosophy

To be clear, leveraging hairstyle and facial hair in our outfits is not a radical or even new concept. However, I’ve always felt that as was the case with glasses and silhouette, the use of hair in achieving a specific POV is not often discussed. Most of the content is about finding the “perfect” hairstyle that is supremely classic, making sense of your headshape so you don’t get the “wrong” fit, or simply suggesting whatever is currently trending on celebrities and influencers (which I can admit, can be very very chic). That being said, trends aren’t a bad thing, as our participation within them is our way of stepping out of our bubbles and communicating/engaging with the wider world. Hair is the same way, as it is something that comes from us rather than what we can buy (to an extent, we can still pay for haircuts and products lol).

Again, this is nothing new, which is why hairstyles (like clothes) can tell a little bit about a person and where their priorities are, which is why hairstyles and facial are easily prone to becoming “dated”. This is most apparent in movies, like Temple of Doom where Willie (played by Kate Capshaw) is supposed to be in 1935 but clearly has a 1980s haircut; the same can be seen in A Christmas Story. Of course, this is why influencers’ hairstyles tend to become the most dated, as hair’s volatility in the zeitgeist plays into their financial need to remain of a moment in order to remain monetizable. Even for regular guys who aspire to date or social climb, hair is an important decision since it is also something that can stick with us even if we change clothes. But as difficult as that may seem, this is actually a good thing.

We are currently in an age where the importance of “proper” context is played down and personal style is being celebrated. As a result, the idea that hair can tie us to certain expressive vibes is a good thing. It is fine to have a dated or even incongruous hair style provided it is intentional and makes sense for us. Realizing all of this is freeing, as it provides us another way to play into our overall aesthetic and can even give us a small way to subvert a bit of expectations, similar to throwing in a fun accidental during a scale run. It’s a “tangible” way of expressing attitude that isn’t clothes!

This is because hair is something that truly comes from the individual. People are born with straight hair, curly hair, wavy hair, the ability to have a full beard or only a mustache; people even are able to manipulate their hair through products as a bit of a “fuck you” to nature. A hair style shows how much comfort we have with what we are given naturally, as well as what we are comfortable molding to our preferred image.

And because of how much freedom we can potentially have with our hair, how one chooses to style/grow/shave it really does say something about our taste, at least in how we want to present ourselves. And that’s what makes it fun!

An old Drake’s photo showing a variety of hairstyles!

From what I’ve seen in both the menswear space and the wider fashion world, it is clear that the stylish people I like don’t intend to overtly have their hairstyle to be supremely sensible/agnostic or even necessarily zeitgeist optimizing. In almost every case, menswear guys have fun with their hair! Even Mark Cho, who is one of the most classic dressers out there, has had subtle changes to his hairstyle that naturally fit with his approach to clothing. It is obvious that hair serves as an extension of our attitude and personality in a way that is definitely different (but can be similar) from how clothes do it.

What is also interesting to me is seeing how people choose and stick with hairstyles, as well as when they do decide to change it (either by using product or literally starting something new). While celebrities, influencers, and those who are more avant-garde tend to change their hair in radical ways, many regular guys don’t, which still says something about how they feel about their hairstyles and even about themselves.

Sometimes hairstyles stems naturally from their chosen “base” style, as ivy or trad menswear guys tend to wear clean parts, rockabillies rock pompadours, and milsurp and workwear guys go for rugged beards and long, hippie locks (or even going shaved) or even vintage-inspired undercuts. Those things just “make sense” for those looks, which makes it easy for guys to do as they recognize the expressive throughline that can be echoed by their hair. It’s not bad if a pompadour or a mullet is dated– that may be the point entirely, based on the overall aesthetic they have chosen to wear.

There are also plenty of examples of subversion, such as how rugged or even rakishly unkempt hair is paired with classic clothing.It’s almost as if the person themselves are rugged but happen to like traditional menswear, making for an interesting juxtaposition and personality. Though to be clear, that subversion is the most common direction people take as we don’t often see overly sensible hair worn by people who prefer avant garde or decidedly stylized clothing.

In that same vein, there are also hairstyles that transition seamlessly from other style genres into classic menswear. This is evident by the rise of general indie vibes in menswear, the merger with streetwear, and the continual referencing of vintage/dated aesthetics. The idea of what we think a “menswear guy” looks like has been expanded, which means we don’t need to default to clean cut head and face hair if we don’t think it fits who we are at our base.

A part of me thinks that this is simply due to the fact that menswear’s sterile and aesthetically-agnostic roots are getting some much needed personality thanks to all these new players in the game. For menswear enthusiasts, this just means we are afforded more to play with when we get dressed. And going beyond hair, this might make it easier for us to experiment with other elements and canonize them into our style.

All of this to say, there isn’t a “perfect” way to do our hair. Instead, there is a style out there that works for us and what we want to look like. It’s not based on face shape or the stereotypical look of our chosen character; it can be based on our attitude and vibe. And even if we get it wrong, that’s okay! Hair can always be changed (to a certain extent of course), but whatever direction we take should still be fun and empowering.

When I look at some of the people with great style, it’s no surprise that they utilize their hair as an extension of their POV. It never feels like they’re just “defaulting” whether their hair is natural or cleanly cut. It all feels expressive and plays into their character making a hairstyle/facial hair choice more like a particular tie pattern, the mixing of aesthetics, or even the louche effect of proportions. The only difference is that hair comes from us.

I’d like to say that this whole mindset is something I’ve always had, but as you’ll soon read this was definitely not the case. In fact, hair was something I struggled with for a long time. It took a long journey (that honestly rivals my overall menswear experience), for me to not only understand how hair plays into my vibe but simply for me to find a look that just made sense for who I was. And as you’ll soon learn, I actually didn’t need to stress about it at all.

I always found myself jealous of other people’s hair.

People told me I shouldn’t grow out my hair.

The undercut was the only haircut I had that felt right…sorta. It at least fit my aesthetic and made me look decent!

Ethan & His Hair

Like most young people, hair was the source of my insecurities. For a long time, my hair just never felt “right” for me.

As some of you guys have noticed, I have thick, wavy hair which contrasts to the stereotypical Asian look of very fine, straight hair; apparently I used to have straight hair but as I went through puberty, my natural hair came through. While it may not seem like a big deal, it actually was a source of social anxiety growing up because my hair was one of the many things that made me feel like I wasn’t “Asian” enough. Looking back, this was probably because where I went to school, there were more Chinese, Vietnamese, and Koreans (who tend to have straight hair) rather than Filipinos (who can have variety). It was worse than simply having niche interests, because hair was something inherent to me.

It didn’t matter if I had inspo from classmates or celebrities. Nothing ever seemed to work right. Growing it out to have the Y2K Asian styles or the “mop-ish” hair seen on Disney Channel tweens never worked out. Even spiking it or doing a soft faux-hawk like later-season Ross or Sylar didn’t work because the points would curl and my sides would stick out. In general, I was always told not to grow it out because it would get all “poofy”, which you’ll see in the photos below. My fix led me to simply let it poof out or to simply get it cut short. I was fine to default because I didn’t see any other viable alternative.

This stuck with me even when I started getting into menswear, specifically vintage menswear. I was very aware that my crew cut/soft faux hawk was not a good match for the Esquire Man but I knew my hair wasn’t going to work with that slicked pomade (I tried it and it looked weird). That being said, I kinda liked having a non-period accurate haircut because as I’ve said before, I never wanted to full-send into the vintage lifestyle. Keeping my existing hair while changing everything else was my way of staying rooted to the contemporary times, even if I wasn’t exactly proud of the hair I had.

This changed slightly with the rise of the undercut, which boasted a vintage aesthetic with a modern attitude. It was already done in spades by a few vintage guys, but after seeing other people in my college do it, I felt like it would work. The undercut also seemed perfect for me as their shorter overall length would prevent my sides from sticking out and my top from getting too unruly. The only catch was that I would have to get a haircut once every 2-3 weeks in order to keep it manageable; I would also need to use a bit of product as well.

The undercut served me well for a time. There was a bit of variation over the years during this stage of my life as bouncing between retail, student, and home life meant that my barbers and time between haircuts was far from consistent. All of it was worth it, as it helped me feel the best I had ever felt about my hair because it “worked” for my face as well as my modern and vintage styles. However, as I got older and decided to merge my two aesthetics into one slouchy vision of classic menswear (and therefore felt the need to be intentional in everything I do), I started to feel like my hair wasn’t cutting it. Yes, it was serving “fine” but I just didn’t like that I was defaulting. But there was nothing I could do, my hair was just not it. The undercut was what I had to do to feel okay even if its clean and minimal aesthetic didn’t exactly match the expression I was trying to achieve in my clothing (and overall vibe).

So to make up for it, I decided to do facial hair. A radical choice, but one that truly led to the “true” Ethan you see today.

Everything changed when I realized I could grow stubble in the right places.

And so Beard Ethan was born! And he was an iconic era.

The Beard

I never thought that I would be someone with any sort of facial hair.

Facial hair was also something that I was told to stay away from. “Asian’s can’t grow facial hair” is something family members and friends would always say. In hindsight, this might have stemmed from racism/assimilation as most people in my community simply wanted to avoid looking like “Fu Manchu”. Whatever the answer was, no one I knew did facial hair and I was certainly not going to be it. I remember being teased for having a soft mustache in high school which lead my parents buying me my first electric shaver. It was a source of comfort, which is why in college, I had an anxiety filled day when I lost it and had to have a big of a five o’clock shadow in the form of an awkward goatee (no offense to goatees but it’s just not me nor does it fit my aesthetic) during a weekend. Facial hair wasn’t in my future…or so it seemed.

As time went on, I realized that I was actually shaving my cheeks. This meant that I didn’t have to be relegated to a goatee– I could have a full beard. I didn’t full send it just yet, preferring to stick with stubble and only shave every 2-3 days. It felt cool. Once I started to become more aware of Ethan Newton and Tony Sylvester, as well as the fateful day that Spencer decided to shave his head and grow out a beard, I too decided to let it grow out. The only thing was that I knew it could happen thanks to how my stubble grew.

The beard changed everything. It all grew in exactly where I wanted, the cheeks, the chin, and over the lip. To my surprise, it was all easy to manage. And above all things, it felt like me. It played nicely with my casual style as well as made a fun juxtaposition with my tailored attire. It both vintage and contemporary but in a way that felt more natural than an undercut. That was probably because it comes from growing rather than styling. Thankfully, it never grew out too crazy and remained rather sensible. I found that a full beard was more interesting than having stubble, much like wearing a wide legged trouser over something slim-straight– there was just more character to exude. My beard was my source of slouch and ease, especially since I couldn’t express that through my head-hair

Thanks to the beard, I was confident in my “base” character. This helped me delve deeper into what I wanted from my personal style, getting even more slouchy with everything from my ivy-trad and Esquire-Man looks to my budding casual style. The beard era really coincided with me simply figuring out and committing to who I wanted to be and what I wanted to look like. I knew that I never wanted to be super clean cut; I just thought that’s what I was relegated to thanks to my genes. Thank goodness I was wrong. And guess what? I was wrong about my hair too.

With the middle part and longer length, I finally had the hair that evoked the person I was.

Goodbye, Undercut

Leaving the undercut (or whatever you want to call it) was quite a jump for me. After all, the undercut style, like slim pants, is something that is still extremely popular not just in menswear circles but the greater Asian American community at large. I was already going against the grain with my facial hair and as confident as I was, I didn’t want to other myself further.

All of this changed in late 2019. This was the rise of Timothy Chalamet, Tiktok, and a bit of an indie-revival, all of which helped make the slightly messy middle part come on the scene. That hair reminded me of all the 80s/90s inspo that I started to collect, both with curly and straight hair (that was intentionally made messy). The look also called to mind the similar looks from Golden Era film stars. I saw that this hair was actually much closer in vibe to that look than the undercut, which was obviously always meant to be more workwear/military or at least more 1910s-1920s. It’s no wonder that the 80s/90s felt like a 1940s redo. The hair was key!

To my eyes, the middle part was easy going and natural while being quite chic, which separated it from gelled spikes of early Y2K hair, the faux-sprezzatura of the “bed head” that followed it, and the meticulously trimmed and pomade-ed undercut. It looked malleable (length always plays a part in the vibes), mature, and ultimately slouchy. Like a beard, there was just more there to play with, to provide character and expression.

Even before we hit peak middle part here in 2023, I could see its potential. The hair seemed like it would work well with any aesthetic, which was only reinforced as wide fits and slouchy, vintage styles of all kinds found its way into the mainstream (as well as how classic menswear got a bit of streetwear influence). I remember being entranced by Timmy’s performance as Laurie in Little Women (a film I have yet to cover on the bonus pod) and thinking “damn I wish I could look like this”. But I soon realized that I could look like that. That was my natural hair.

So a few months before the pandemic began (and inspired by Laurie), I decided to simply grow out my hair and part it. I didn’t do any perming or use any product. And to my surprise, it fucking worked. I say surprise because I had tried to grow out my hair in high school and it never looked right. Maybe it’s because I grew it out of apathy rather than intentional direction or maybe my hair oils just changed. Whatever the case was, my hair was finally the way I wanted it to be. And like my clothes, my head-hair suited who I was and what I wanted to look like.

Instead of being othered by what I thought I was defaulted to, I finally felt kinship with a variety of aesthetics. Even if it’s not exactly like the typical middle-parts we see in the zeitgeist (my hair does get messier throughout the day due to sweat), I loved it. By having more to work with, I am allowed a bit more expression. And like a brown suit, my natural hair had more of a “fashiony” vibe, or at least it was suited for it.

I didn’t feel like the undercut was me even though it was “fine”. And if you guys really look at my fits during 2017-2019, you’ll note that a majority of my outfits incorporated headwear, specifically bucket hats, beanies, and berets. It was clear that I wanted something to help my head/face feel as slouchy as my style and hats were the only way to do it since my hair wasn’t cutting it. But cutting it seemed to be the real problem. By embracing the features that came with keeping my hair a little longer than before (and natural), it gave me the character and expression I was after. Volume was the key, for both my head-hair and face-hair it seems! Wide legged pants and longer hair just make sense.

I don’t want to say that it was the ultimate hairstyle, but I really saw how much this hair played well into any look I wanted, especially as I canonized other moves, to my aesthetic tool belt. I could remain as my slouchy self and reference other aesthetics without it coming across as subversive. In other words, I don’t think that I would’ve been more inspired to send up the 1970s or get a bit more “experimental” (like with Safincore) if I had retained my undercut; it was just too clean and proper for my vibe. I believe everything can express something, and whatever attitude the undercut was expressing was simply not what I wanted.

I’m sure all of you can see the effect of my hair, because I truly believe it made my style better. Defaulting was nowhere in sight. The hair on my face and on the top of my head were both able to exude the slouch that I was after, meaning that now my bae character was aligned with my chosen expression. Everything was slouchy. And as a result, I really liked how I looked. I felt natural, cool, and attractive, or at least intentional.

I also have to thank the pandemic for this because the extended closure of barbers and salons kind of forced me to stick with this hair. It all worked out for the best.

…but we finally figured it out. Though Jay is relatively unchanged.

I’m just glad that the hair on my head and face are finally able to match the vibe I have with my clothes. That’s all I ever wanted!

Conclusion

Now I’m not saying that you need to adopt a middle part or get a beard. The reason why I shared my experience is to show how great it is to find a hairstyle that suits the aesthetic you want. It’s much like finding the right silhouette to fit your attitude, the right era to reference what you like, or even the level of formality or subculture you want to have. Sometimes what we’ve been doing wasn’t always the right choice; everything should be picked out of intentionality and kinship rather than just defaulting. Again, I might be biased, but having a bit of volume somewhere is helpful for having a bit of character (especially if slouch is what you’re after).

And that’s not to say that you can’t experiment! It’s actually encouraged, as experimenting with hair is a great way to get to know your body. Plenty of people change their hair styles as their aesthetics evolve: people use product, get perms, use straighteners, embrace length, grow out beards, or shave down into mustaches, all in service of what feels comfortable to them.

Even though I’ve embraced the beard and messy middle-part, the truth is that I subtly change things. I’m even currently in a mustache era, which still helps emphasize general vintage style (of any era) while still being natural to me (and ultimately quite slouchy); it just feels a bit more debonair compared to a full beard. I also don’t mind cutting my hair again (though I would never do an undercut again). None of this would have been possible without the story that came before it. And again, it helps to have stuff to work with; I find it hard to play around with short hair (just like I find it difficult to be slouchy in slim clothing).

As I said earlier in the post, all of these fun decisions are based on upholding the look they want to do or when they simply like the hairstyle and want to juxtapose it against their chosen aesthetic. What matters is that introspect on our POV and really dig deep on if our hair is in service of that. If I didn’t embrace slouch that way I did, I probably would’ve had a totally different hair journey. But I’m sure it would’ve lead me somewhere that I feel confident and holistically tethered to my approach to dressing. That’s why this hobby is more than just clothes–it’s about expressing ourselves! And as you’ll see in the countless photos below and in the podcast episode on this topic, I’m definitely not alone in this, as many of my friends have found how to express their attitude through their hair.

Spencer certainly had his own big journey, going from super pomade-ed hair to shaving it off and going with a beard. While he may not have a lot of hair to work with, you can tell that his beard affords him plenty of character; he uses headwear (or embraces the bald head) to further his expressive goals. MJ doesn’t like facial hair, but he certainly embraces his vibrant, gold-dyed hair, even taking the extra mile to use product and style it however he wishes. Some days he plays into his attire, such as rocking a slick look or sensible middle part with ivy-trad; other days he spikes it at an angle to juxtapose his Y2K/anime roots with his love of classic menswear. This idea of using our hair to express ourselves and play into our outfits is found everywhere, from Big Menswear to the fools who choose to support us in our Patreon discord.

Now enjoy photos of our hair inspo, as well as a few extra photos of our own journey and how our current hair plays into our outfits. We do have a bias for messy hair and some form of facial hair, but maybe it’s our hope that you guys try it out for yourselves. You may be surprised by what you end up growing 😉