I’m sure many of you have noticed my recent nods to the impending “end” of the blog. I don’t have anything too specific to share about it right now, but rest assured, I’m still figuring out why I’ve been feeling this way.

I had initially assumed that my blog post on Pretentiousness (written over a month ago but published recently) was enough to quell some of my self-conscious sentiments as of late, but I was wrong. If anything, it actually uncovered deeper anxieties and questions about myself and who I want to be, particularly in my desire to be a creative and how Inspiration affects me. And as much as this is a menswear blog, the truth is that those things affect every part of my life.

In other words, I think that a long reflection on a recent personal project should help put my recent sentiments into perspective in how I view menswear and how it may or may not always play into my desire to satisfy my creative needs. And as always, this is best illustrated through my love and admiration of John Williams.

Soundings is my absolute favorite piece of music.  Commissioned to John Williams for the inaugural season of the Walt Disney Concert Hall back in 2003, the piece is meant to represent the Hall itself as well as the orchestra “communicating” with it. While there is a vague sense of thematic material for the Hall and even a “narrative” at play (if we reference Williams’s names for each section of the piece), Soundings is ultimately an experimental piece of music. In between references to the aforementioned motifs that occur throughout, the composition focuses more on displaying the sonorites of the orchestra in order to make the Hall come to life.  

Much like Ravel’s La Valse, Williams’s material for the Hall seems to emerge from aural “darkness”, being transformed and developed by various instruments over the course of the 12 minute piece before culminating in a spectacular finale.  With the subject matter dealing with human to non-human communication, you can certainly make a connotation to Williams’s score Close Encounters of the Third Kid, But if you listen to the piece proper (an excerpt conducted by Wiliams himself or the full piece conducted by Dudamel years later), you’ll see that this is a great deal more complex and ultimately able to be one of the most artful things he has ever done.  

Williams has always been a talented film composer who utilizes complex approaches that filmmakers or even other composers may write off as extra and unnecessary. To music scholars however, this is an impressive and commendable feat, as seen in this analysis of a Star Wars battle cue. Just imagine what Johnny could accomplish without needing to correspond to visuals or dialogue (film scoring is a challenge don’t get me wrong). 

This is why Soundings transcends Williams’s film work, since it was an opportunity for him to truly be himself. I’m sure he was exuberant at the commission. I believe this is clearly shown in the composition, as Soundings gets  dissonant and abstract while retaining his strong focus on thematic development (even if the motif is “simple” and more sound focused) and maximal use of the orchestra; this ain’t no John Cage.  Soundings is Williams through and through, being a representation not only of the WDCH but of Williams’s own taste through his personal technique (style).  I love his scores to Star Wars, Tintin, Indiana Jones, and Lincoln, but Soundings is my favorite because it lets me see John Williams not just as a film score composer but as a true artist who is able to make Inspiration come to life through his own taste and expressive technique. 

Soundings has always been an invitation for me to live an expressive life. But after writing this blog for nearly 10 years and developing a self-critical eye toward what I like and why, the piece has come to mean a little bit more. Now the piece serves as an reminder to intentionally make time for art: to be a Creative!

In my mind, being a Creative is about giving yourself over to Inspiration and acting on it. To express what it is that comes into your mind. I also think that Consistency can play into this as well, where you intentionally set time to accomplish your expressive goals. You can choose to be paid or to do it for fun, but the ultimate point is that you’re expressing something with technique and style. It’s a romantic notion, but something I think is very important, especially now as I approach 30. 

I think it’s clear that I’ve always wanted to be a Creative. This has been the case ever since I was a kid. When our schedules allowed my friends and I would make skit videos, often with some absurd plot that would lead us to a horribly choreographed action sequence. These videos were simply a vehicle for me to write music, first as film scores before simply becoming music on its own. Composing was my biggest creative output before menswear (and photography) became one of my most defining passions. 

If you think about it, menswear was indeed a way for me to act on Inspiration. It was a fun challenge for me to express a character or vibe with self-imposed prompts whenever Inspiration arose. I liked how menswear afforded me a quick way to act on and execute Inspiration. And thankfully, Inspiration never seems to stop, which is why I often have a backlog of outfits which either exist both mentally and physically, particularly as assembled outfits in my closet awaiting their turn to be worn. But as I get older and mature in my technique as well as philosophy for making fits, I think it’s time to change things up, to pursue Inspiration in a different way. Because as much as I love menswear, my fits aren’t Soundings and my photography of friends hanging out isn’t Slim Aarons or Gary Winogrand. 

To be clear, I’m not talking about a career change (at least not yet) nor am I talking about abandoning getting dressed or even fully stopping this blog.  I am simply talking about taking more intentional time to create art. At the very least, I want to be able to think of myself as more than just a Menswear Guy™. And I think Johnny knows how this feels.

The earliest film composers were regular (concert) composers who also wrote music for movies. Erich Wolfgang Korngold is a great example, as he composed various concerts and operas (lauded by Strauss and Puccini no less) before feeling to the US to escape the Nazis and becoming one of the most famous and prolific film composers in the 1930s-1940s. As time went on and the film industry boomed, film composers became their own thing, meaning that you could be a composer just the entertainment industry creating a distinction between what it means to compose for film/TV and the concert hall. There’s nothing wrong with focusing on either, but it is interesting to note how things have changed.

I bring this up because it is clear that John Williams has made it a point to be known than for just writing music for Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. If you go to his Wikipedia you’ll find a surprisingly lengthy list of non-film work, almost to the point where it seems to scream, “See, I’m more than Star Wars”! Most people are at least little aware of this tidbit, as people will recognize his themes for NBC news programs as well as his fanfares for the Olympics. But there’s so much more. 

He has written a brass piece for “The President’s Own” United States Marine Band. There’s an abstract piano piece called “Conversations” which mixes jazz and atonal techniques to represent imagined dialogue between Jazz greats.  There’s an aleatoric piece meant as a tribute to Lenny Bernstein and his famously haunted house. He’s written concertos for Violin, Tuba, Horn, and Cello. One of my other favorites from him is Prelude & Scherzo for Piano and Orchestra which seems to have a common DNA with Conversations through its alternative piano. 

If you listen to all of these pieces, you can really hear the true John Williams shine through: expression through experimental, eccentric, and grandiose writing with clear references to what Johnny loves most about music: lush Romanticism, atmospheric Impressionism, and a severity stemming from Modernism and Contemporary techniques. It is truly amazing how the art one makes is representative of our taste, both in music and clothing. 

What’s clear is that I’ve become more connected with the idea of art and what it means to Create something.  This did not happen overnight but through my latest hobby in reading essays and lectures about all manner of art.  These activities helped me focus how I think and talk about menswear, fashioning it into an intentional (and at times, absurd) subject. It was not that making outfits was the same thing as writing poetry, painting, or composing a symphony, but that at its core an outfit was a combination of taste, expression, and technique. It provided me with the tools needed for introspection and self-evaluation. Clothes were more than just garments, but full of coded meanings and expressions in their own right. And as I got a more profound understanding of what it means to get dressed, I also understood art more as well. 

In that way, reading all those books served almost like a music or art appreciation class. But this was more than just an easy class for credit. Reading connected me with artists. It served as a way for me to expand on how I think about expression in general, ultimately giving me a deeper understanding of how artists (and specifically composers) approach making their art. I honestly wish I made these efforts earlier, but like with getting into menswear, it’s better late than never. 

Fostering this new and emboldened relationship to art was why I made it a point to regularly go to the Symphony (thanks to $30 youth tickets). This wasn’t something Pretentious to try and match up my lifestyle to my clothes or a case of going through a list of the classics just to say “I’ve heard it ”. No, this was an intentional activity of both pleasure and education, not unlike going to the museum. Concert work is performance art and written poetry all put into one. And in a similar sentiment to how I branched out of wearing true vintage, I wanted to expand my interests beyond John Williams. I wanted to get at the root of what music I enjoyed. And boy did I learn.

Copland soon became a favorite with his Symphonic Ode, Symphony for Organ and Orchestra and his delightful Short Symphony. There was Ravel and La Valse, which twists the idea of a waltz through a darkly beautiful piece (I like it more than Boléro), as well as his Piano Concerto for the Left Hand.  Messaein’s Turungalila Symphony is nothing short of grand. Hindesmith’s Theme & Variations was emotional (literally).  I believe I mentioned Brubeck’s Dialogue for Jazz Combo & Orchestra in the past, but I’ll plug it again. William Walton was also quite Modern, yet still heavily utilized melody in an interesting way; his Portsmouth Point Overture is one of my favorites, as well as his Symphony No. 1. Charles Ives is wonderfully expressive as is his Central Park in The Dark. And in terms of contemporary composers, there was Adam Schoenberg who has an American Symphony that brings the American sound out folk tunes and somewhere modern. And of course, Thomas Adés stole my heart with his abstract-yet-maximalist Concert for Piano and Orchestra. 

If we keep the menswear connotations going, I was able to really dive deep on what it was that I liked from orchestral music. It’s no surprise that much of it was similar to the techniques found across Williams’s work, particularly Soundings.  But now my taste was more than Williams. I was in pursuit of a particular “sound”.  In the words of some friends who have joined me on these excursions, it’s music that isn’t exactly straightforward but still feels “classical”— again, calling my to mind my own approach to fashion.  

But I soon developed a problem. My efforts in deepening my understanding of expression, aesthetics, and taste, made menswear (and its adjacent hobbies) feel like it was lacking something.

Let me make it clear that I have enjoyed how I’ve matured in my style as well as how I discuss it and the hobby in general. The blog has moved from just being about specific pieces I like and event recaps to being a record of my fashion philosophy as well as my attempts to make a good case for it to be considered an expressive medium. As such, I’ve taken talking points from art/music theory and philosophy in the hope that this faux-critical discourse encourages introspection and moves it away from just being a way to gain status or a reducing it to be a consumerist pastime. It can never fully escape those connotations, but fashion can at least be nuanced at least in how we do it on a personal level. It’s also just fun and creative! 

That being said, I know that getting dressed is not a fine-art. It still has limitations to its creative merits, despite being one of the most externally facing forms of expression. This is especially true for my style which is rooted in pre-existing clothes that have years of history and coded subtext built right in. And while my style seems to deviate from hard coded rules, the reality is that in the grand scheme of things, I’m rather normal. I’m not reinventing the wheel or doing something that other cooler guys (or illustrations lol) haven’t done already.

By extension, I also don’t see this blog or the podcast as something particularly expressive either, even if I do narcissistically believe my thoughts are important enough to share. While this has been an important medium to share my processes and philosophies, it doesn’t exactly express more abstract feelings. After all, this isn’t isn’t creative writing nor am I saying anything truly radical. The blog is my diary. At best it’s a recorded lecture or a tome with its lightly philosophical or scholarly themes. But to be clear, I’m okay with both of these things. I like how I dress and what I do on this blog and social media. I guess I felt like I wanted to do more, to add more to my expressive activities.

I felt like I needed some space myself to be a Creative, in the way I had imagined. Yes, some of it was Clothes but I wanted something more. At the very least, I wanted something in addition to menswear that could express my feelings and my taste. I wanted to feel like I was more than just a Menswear Guy. This was bolstered by the fact that I do a lot of menswear stuff despite not being in the industry in an official way; I didn’t want menswear to be my only personality quirk. 

For all my talk about expression, creativity, and POV, what am I really showing for it? Yes there were my outfits, yes there was the photography, and yes there were the words I chose and how I arranged them to make a coherent thought about clothing. These things can express mood and taste, but it was still clouded by menswear. In essence, I felt like I was cosplaying as a Creative. I knew what cues to do in order to style myself as an artist but it felt fake. I started to feel Pretentious in the bad way, all in my own head. At best I could come off as a faux-intellectual (as I have no formal discipline), but even then I wanted to be more than just someone who liked to read or go to museums or the concert hall. 

In fact, attending concerts and reading about composers only made this feeling worse. It almost felt a bit like an anxious FOMO in how I felt separated from art despite heavily appreciating the creative merit behind it. How can you read Aaron Copland’s biography and not get Inspired by the story behind Statements for Orchestra and how he approached the process of assigning melodies and his careful orchestration to express nuanced moods such as Militant, Cryptic, or Prophetic? Or to feel emboldened by Igor Stravinsky’s or Virgil Thomson’s views on musical expression? It was like I was stepping down from a challenge or that I wasn’t actually applying anything from what I was reading, which we all know wasn’t true not true. I just started to get in my own head.

Even getting further into art in general (aka not just music) exacerbated this sentiment. It wasn’t just about essays and critiques on art philosophy but even “smaller” things like attending zine fests. I found it incredibly wholesome and admirable to see these artists share their life in such a fun way. I’ve built up quite a collection of prints and zines/essays! But as was the case with music proper, this made me feel that combination of FOMO, imposter syndrome, and restlessness.

In her book The Importance of Hanging out, Sheila Liming states that writing as a creative outlet “constitutes a kind of Hanging Out with the ideas and books…who have shaped [her] thinking.” This idea holds true for me and clothing, but when it came to actual art, I felt bad. I felt like I wasn’t showing my favorite artists, essay-ists, and [especially] composers their proper due, that I wasn’t actually learning anything from them other than justifying some big pants or dressing for fun.

To be clear, no one was making me feel this way or accusing me of being one-dimensional. This anxiety was unfortunately all internal and relentless. Was it because I’m nearing a full decade on the blog and I’ve canonized pretty much my entire philosophy on getting dressed? Is it because my style has pretty much matured? Is this a late-quarter life crisis as I approach thirty? It’s most likely all of it.

Thankfully I didn’t spin out of control; I don’t even think I talked about this to MJ and Spencer. That’s because the more I introspected on this, the more I realized that there may be a way to turn this anxiety into something positive or motivational. To embrace this yearning as Inspiration, the Call to Create— a challenge for me to do. It was clear that I couldn’t achieve that with outfits, fit pics, or my blog. It was clear that I had to make a return to music, to make a return to being a Creative. Maybe then I would feel like I wasn’t being fake.

It was clear that I had been neglecting my musical expression. Unlike menswear, my approach to music simply hadn’t had opportunity to mature and showcase a more honed and ultimately more artful expression. Thanks to all of the literature I had read over the past few years, I knew that a good fit can be representative not just of what you like but what you understand about the coded nature of clothing. It was also a way for me to make something that came from Inspiration, like dressing after a fit from your favorite style icon or lookbook photo. 

I now realized that I wanted to do the same thing with music. I wanted to be able to flesh out new philosophies through Creation. Music would have to be the vehicle for this, simply because I knew that’s where my true passion lies. I was curious to see how my output would become more refined, much like how my menswear was more precise in its expression. I wanted to execute on Inspiration and challenge myself to hit a self-imposed prompt and make something for arts’ sake. 

To be clear, I did this with music in general for almost my entire life. I mainly wrote “musical stories” (aka film scores but no film), such ones about a Dirigible Race or a group of high school kids searching a treasure during a fair (while being chased by bullies). I wrote love themes for crushes , with almost all of them inspired by whatever love theme I happened to be listening to. This one seems to be a little inspired by John Williams’s arrangement of David Raskin’s theme for Laura (1944). As I’ve said before, Music was my main method of expressing something until I found menswear (and of course, writing and photography).

This even continued post-menswear (and post-college), though my output was lessened quite a bit. I was able to compose the scores to a few of my friends’ short films (Breathe, Nothing Grows Here and even a Bond one).  During the pandemic. fleshed out my Animal Crossing island tune into a fully fledged theme and even did a John Williams’s style action cue for a friend’s old high school video; I loved giving myself prompts. As time went on, I tried challenging myself to be a bit artier: I wrote a short fanfare and an adagio because I felt like it. And then last Christmas, I composed a fully orchestrated piece for my girlfriend that I hoped was successful in expressing her silly personality. Its probably my most mature piece, being the most “put together” and “full” in its use of the entire orchestra as well as heavy use of accidentals, creating a jaunty Prokofiev feel.

It is clear that like with menswear, my musical style and execution has been honed over the years. But even so, I started to feel like I wanted to do more with it. Not in terms of profession or career but in terms of a creative challenge. Because even though I am immensely proud of Isabel’s Theme, it still felt a little cinematic.

I wanted to see if I could invoke nuance and complexity, all to reflect my own philosophies on art/music as well as to more closely reference the classical composers that I’ve been enjoying. I wanted to see if I coudl be more than what I currently was. This meant that I had to challenge myself to compose something artful and experimental, at least compared to my previous output. After all, if menswear wasn’t going to give this to me, then music would do it.

In that way, Inspiration was certainly around, but it was vague and incessant. It was causing me anxiety. I knew I wanted to write something, but what? What was the melody? How would the piece go? Maybe I was doomed to yearn and never have anything to act on!

At some point a simple four-note melody popped in my head. It was abstract and not exactly straightforward, almost like a little call begging to be written. At first, I assumed that this could represent something important to me yet abstract, like Friendship. As time went on, I toyed with the idea the easily malleable theme represent art you would see at a museum, as bit of a shout out to Mussorgsky’s Pictures at An Exhibition.  But I soon realized that perhaps this whole anxious feeling was a sign. Maybe this was Inspiration itself, knocking at my door. 

That’s when I knew I had it. And so the Inspiration Fantastique for Piano and Orchestra was born. 

@ethanmwong

Reminding you guys i write music. Either its genius or awful and idk the difference but i like it lol #orchestra #composer #composersoftiktok #music

♬ original sound – Ethan M. Wong

My goal of Fantastique was to capture the essence of Inspiration and the effect it has on me: how it has an incessant presence, both with and without clear definition, until it erupts and I finally make something from it. With that “abstract” theme to characterize the piece, I really intended this to be the most artful thing I’ve ever attempted.

It was important for me for it to contrast against my straightforward (and more cinematic music), to allow me space to experiment and express what music for music’s sake meant to me. That being said, I still needed to make sure this “avant-garde” and “mature” vibe was still Ethan.  I also wanted to reference what I liked from all of my favorite composers: stabs, clusters, runs, “random” piano, changes in time signature and rhythm. And while this isn’t a straightforward narrative, I still wanted this to feel like a coherent idea is transformed throughout the work, not unlike La Valse or Soundings. I wanted something that would be fun/intense to conduct (even though I am not trained in it) while still feel fun and accessible.  But overall, I wanted the piece to come across as intellectual and intentional. To be sonorous and grand without being epic or cinematic. This was quite a challenge indeed!

After about a month (which is the longest I’ve ever spent writing something), I feel like I accomplished that goal. It truly feels like the most mature thing I’ve ever written, echoing how I’ve also come into my own with my approach to menswear. In fact, you could say that both of these things are intertwined as making outfits and composing are my way of acting on Inspiration, to create something that expresses what I want it to express. 

I’m sharing the composition with you today in order to show that connection, not unlike how I’ve shared my outfits and analyzed them on this blog countless times. Of course I know that music is not why you’re here, so I’ve prepared a bit of a primer to help you understand what I’m getting at. 

Even though Inspiration Fantastique is much more abstract than my typical work, it still utilizes motifs (or themes) in order to provide me (as well as the listener) some direction. In that way, it’s much like having a character-POV when making a fit; you should decide if you want to be an ivy student or even a teacher, or perhaps a cowboy. Of course this comparison is not one-to-one, but I think you get the idea! 

As you’ll hear below, the themes I composed are quite simple and not long, making them ripe for thematic development through the course of the work. This is meant to echo how inspiration or the idea can be fleeting as you attempt to turn your muse into something real (like art).  It’s not exactly a straightforward narrative, but it is the hope that these themes do convey some of that process.

“Inspiration”

“Inspiration” itself is characterized by a four-note motif and can be found multiple times in different variations throughout the score. In most cases, it is harmonized just like it is shown above and played by chimes, piano, and the glockenspiel, making it feel quite like a doorbell. This was intentional as to play up its playful yet heraldic nature, almost like a short fanfare announcing its presence. I actually came up with this theme years ago but struggled with how I would go about expanding on it. The “story” within the piece pretty much echoes the meta-narrative of its creation! 

“Steps”

The next motif is what I call “Steps” due to its ascending nature. Its thematic meaning almost echoes its purpose within the score: to link ideas together. However, it can also be heard on its own, with its upward reaching “appearance” feeling hopeful…or perhaps abrupt and unfinished. This is all based on its surrounding context. Does it interject an existing melody like a distraction? Is it looped over and over as an ostinato, as if to express the swirls of a thinking mind? Or is it the promise that Inspiration will lead us somewhere satisfying?

“Focus”

Finally, the last major theme in the film is “Focus”, which to me is the most “classic” theme out of the bunch. This is meant to represent a fully realized idea or creative output that results from Inspiration. As such, it comes off straightforward and mature, especially within the score itself. Unlike the others which get developed with dissonant harmonies, “Focus” is always presented positively. While hints of it are shown in the beginning, this theme isn’t really heard properly until about halfway through the piece. It has two statements before disappearing again until the last “movement”, where it becomes fully fleshed out and played a tutti (all together).

Hopefully by showing you these themes ahead of time, you’re able to better comprehend my intended “narrative” as well as the various transformations that occur within the work. I also realize that explaining themes almost reminds me of how I explain certain coded things (like how a blazer is ivy or a striped spearpoint is Esquire Man) on the blog before I start to play with or subvert them in my outfits. At the very least, learning context is always good! 

So now that you know what to listen for, I think it’s time for me to cover the piece itself!

The first section of Inspiration Fantastique is the most abstract part of the piece. Steps is the first theme heard, played by echo-y woodwinds in a swirling ostinato, mimicking the oceans of the mind. The melody shortly becomes dissonant as more instruments join in, creating feeling of unease. A dissonant fanfare played by the horns announces that something coming, but what? We hear a fragment of the focus theme, which is interjected by discordant piano and woodwind clusters which crescendo until we finally hear the Inspiration Theme. However, it doesn’t sound as “nice” as we would’ve thought. 

At 0:43, haunting melodies play back and forth between piano and woodwinds, almost like a conversation of unknown voices in our head, distracting us from our goal. Steps and Inspiration trade off before a brief heroic climbing variation of the two ideas erupts at 1:49 in a bold statement of the Inspiration theme, played by brass. The harmonies here are slightly dissonant but we seem to have some direction now. 

This good feeling soon goes away after another build up leaves us with low strings playing a dark melody in unison. Their intervals still hint at the Inspiration theme (while Steps is heard on top of them), before we get into a “Brain Storm” at 2:30 where woodwind triads go through chromatic runs, making for a very uncomfortable feeling. Inspiration is heard a few times again before everything fades away to an ethereal combination of piano, harp, and chimes.  

Not all is lost however, as this leads us to the section with Focus.  At 3:40, Focus is heard first by solo piano before it is joined with the rest of the orchestra. Its cascading melody is offset by familiar responses of Inspiration, showing us that Inspiration can be focused to make something great. We get some jazz harmonies before an extended piano heavy interlude that leads into Steps and a soft Inspiration statement. 

At around 4:50, Steps in ostinato form (from the beginning) are heard again, but it feels even more ethereal and ghost-like. A dark version of Steps is played in low strings, announcing that something dark is coming.  And sure enough it does! We get a full Brainstorm made up of dark, jazz-esque bass runs and dissonant cluster stabs by strings and horns; troubled versions of the Inspiration theme are played by woodwinds before we lead into a wild piano solo. Instead of a virtuosic playing of a melody, the piano instead leaps around alternating furiously between high and low keys; the timpani provides us our only respite from the mess, but its pounding nature doesn’t free us from anxiety. 

The rest of the orchestra jumps in at 5:47, with strings doing Stravinsky-inspired chords while all the low instruments play Steps in a truly demonic fashion. We’re saved by a tired feeling interlude derived from Inspiration and Steps. A short progression inspired by jazz harmonies takes us to another build up, where the orchestra rises (and the bells play Steps) until the piano gets to finally play something straightforward: Inspiration, though it still feels like something is awry.

We don’t get too long to linger on this melancholic rendition as the piano jolts us back to another brainstorm. At 6:40 the woodwinds are back in twisting clusters while plucked strings hop around, attempting to settle on something solid. This unease is also emphasized by the use of 5/4, whose incessant, uneven rhythm contrasts against what we’ve heard before. This brainstorm builds until we finally get somewhere positive. A calming celesta plays steps while the rest of the  orchestra settles in a new home base. There is a brief use of Inspiration before we jump into a steady but hopeful rhythm that shows us that 5/4 can still be our home. We know where we’re going now. 

The piano plays an expanded variation of the Inspiration theme, though it’s presented to us in a way that calls to mind the discordant piano solo in the middle of the piece. But to be clear, this is no longer unfocused: it now has a clear identity and presentation. This transformation shows us that our ideas will eventually form something beautiful out of the chaos. And right on cue, Focus now joins the fray with a dignified presentation that utilizes the 5/4 rhythm to great effect. 

Steps and Inspiration get a shout out until 8:46, where woodwinds play steps in reverse, but there is nothing to worry about. Inspiration is traded between the orchestra and we get to  another piano interlude (with Steps runs in high strings) before Stravinsky-strings and horn stabs come back in an attempt to haunt us. Thankfully the orchestra breaks free at 9:20 and returns to the jovial 5/4 rhythm that we’ve come to love. Inspiration on bells calls a wedding to mind before we get a brief statement of Focus. The whole orchestra gets in as it says Focus again, this time with the jaunty Inspiration piano idea filled out by the woodwinds and plucked strings. 

The Focus theme erupts but the piece isn’t finished yet. Piano plays the Inspiration theme while low brass and piano play Steps until the whole orchestra explodes in a finale that brings back some dissonance before finishing on a simple D major chord.   Inspiration, with its perpetual haunting and chaotic distractions, has finally brought us to where we are meant to be even if it is only a whole note higher (we started in a vague C tonic and now we’re at D).  

What matters is that we accomplished something. 

Fantastique was such a monster to make. It was rough to be constantly peppered by anxious Inspiration, calling on me to simply finish the work, whatever that meant. I see-sawed between being blocked and having too many ideas, both of which made me stay up and work on the piece for much longer periods a day than would be recommended. Inspiration or the Call to Create can be a dangerous thing, especially when it’s a new challenge. The saving grace was that I had a new mindset that definitely gave me an alternative approach with techniques that I hadn’t fully explored yet but still provided promise.

And you know what? I think I did it. I accomplished what I set out to do. I made something that was artful and referenced everything I’ve learned over the past few years, from understanding the “experimental” and Modern techniques (that are still classic and symphonic) from my references to the more holistic and internal philosophy of expression.  Of course, I am still an amateur and not classically trained, so bear with my shortcomings!

I am sure that most educated music people out there will not find nice things to say about Inspiration Fantastique. It reeks of amateur composition and production (I do use a yo-hoed DAW and samples lol). I am also not unaware that Inspiration Fantastique is clearly inspired by Soundings. On that note, it sounds heavily taken after Adés and Adam Schoenberg, along with Stravinsky and early Copland. But that’s entirely the point! I know my limitations and I know did my best effort. I didn’t create things to be innovative for the world, but to be innovative to me. It sound narcissistic but its true!

This was a challenge for me to dig deep and sound like what I enjoy, for the piece to be reflective of the taste that I’ve developed— to show that I do “hang out” with my favorite composers.

You see, I want to be a Creative in order to show just how I answer the Call of Inspiration and how my interests play into who I am.  I’ve certainly done that with menswear, but I now know that I can do it (or at least try) to do it with a more abstract medium as well as an abstract theme itself (Inspiration). I know this whole thing is silly and self indulgent, but I like feeling a tad more confident and emboldened in my expressive past times.

You might me wondering what’s next. What do I do with this whole experience? Is this a “new” direction for the music I write? Should I write more in this vein? What will other pieces sound like? Is this enough to make me go to school, study music, and be a composer or even a conductor? In all seriousness, probably not.

Just like with menswear, I do not make music in the hope to be famous or to even see my work performed live (though wouldn’t that be nice). For me, composing something or making an outfit has been about executing on Inspiration and expression. As long as I can make myself happy (and make it available for people to stumble across and view if they want), that’s what matters! That being said, I’m sure this will indeed play into my other creative hobbies like photography. In addition to ensuring I act on my musical Inspiration, I do want to make sure I take more photos (that aren’t just point-and-shoot flash ones) and that I try and paint more as well— maybe I’ll try poetry or zines at some point!

As for menswear, don’t worry. I’m not leaving it behind! Getting dressed is still one of my favorite methods of expressing myself and acting on Inspiration, even if it is on a smaller scale. I like that aspect. It It may not be a symphony, but it’s something intentional you can do every day. More than that, I can say that I’m satisfied with the creative limitations of fashion and blogging, at least in how I plan to continue it. It just serves a different purpose. It’s more to record and document than it is to create.

It’s funny— some have assumed that my shift to discussions on art/philosophy would lead me to abandon menswear in favor of designer or avant garde fashions. And while Safincore sorta fits in here, I know that when it comes to what I actually wear everyday, classic menswear will always be my true love. Music will be where my bigger creative activities will lie, where I can try something a bit more challenging and more abstract, all while wearing a suit and tie. I guess in my head, menswear is what my type of composer dresses like. And in my own way, I’m playing into that!

I think this experience has shown me that the “allure of Inspiration” itself is an interesting topic. The call to act on it is something that clearly defines my approach to all of my creative hobbies: composing music, snapping a photo, and yes, making outfits. How Inspiration affects “art-making” is quite an abstract thing, but I do think there is something to dive into when it comes to smaller activities like putting an outfit together. I’m fascinated and scared about what I will discover as I continue introspect on this and ultimately talk about it on the blog/pod. Spoiler alert: I’m not as put together as it seems (though that may have always been glaringly obvious).

What is currently clear, is that I needed to reassure myself that I am capable of expressing and acting on something “abstract”. That I can be more than just a menswear guy and that my creative efforts are more than just picking what type of character I want to be today through the existing clothes in my closet. And thanks to the Inspiration Fantastique, I know I can do it…even if it just means that I made a silly ten minute piece with some crazy piano.

But I love it and I’m proud of it. It came from me, after all!

– End of blog post – 

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Always a pleasure,

Ethan M. Wong (follow me on IG)