I had assumed that the blog/pod which consolidated my menswear philosophy would be the last big essay of the year (or perhaps ever), but apparently I was wrong. 

The topic for this reflection came when I was recapping the last post to a friend who is slightly into menswear but doesn’t keep up with my blog/pod. I was sharing with him my philosophy of making my own Occasions to dress up for and how it all comes down to being excited for life and simply making an outfit for anything we look forward to whether it’s seeing friends for a drink or treating myself to a coffee-reading session. There’s also the idea that making a fit inspires me to do something to make the day “special” (it’s usually boba, coffee, or ice cream).  

None of this was particular news to this old friend of mine. After all, as we came from similar backgrounds, he understood just how hard it can be to find regular people to hang out with, especially as we had both grown up introverted and perhaps a bit alienated in our Christian backgrounds due to our niche interests (until we broke out of the bubble of course).  We both knew that if we didn’t make the effort to create our own Occasions, they simply wouldn’t happen. We sat for a minute, reminiscing on how far we’ve come. 

“But Ethan, didn’t you have a few Occasions this year that you didn’t make yourself?”

The question made me pause my coffee, the only source of warmth when you sit outside in the “cold” SoCal Fall.  had assumed that 2023 was a tentpole for my blog, as it resulted in more than a few manifestos centered on creating our own contexts and being free to wear what we want.  But in reality, this year was quite different. My friend was right, I did have a few external things that I had to dress in service of rather than show up in whatever I felt like. I just didn’t realize it. 

If you follow me religiously on social media, you may already be familiar with a few of these Occasions already. I went to Italy for my mom’s wedding, requiring Black Tie for the ceremony as well as dedicated travel attire, which is decidedly not what I wear on a daily basis (I couldn’t imagine walking for 12 hours in full trad tailoring).  On that note, I also went to Isabel’s cousin’s wedding, which had a Vietnamese lunch ceremony as well as a reception, both of which was best served by toning it down, so as to not steal thunder from the happy couple.

There were also quite serious occasions, such as a funeral for Isabel’s aunt as well as a few events and calls for work. Those events obviously required a different approach than Going Out or Esquire Man. However things weren’t always sober, as Marco’s birthday party explicitly required going all out with colors, which is also not something I tend to do very often.

I share these Occasions in order to acknowledge the fact that sometimes External situations do happen, even if they seldom happen. Some gotcha-focused menswear guys will try to elevate these external events, lauding them as the times we actually dress for “real”, since they don’t believe a no-context world of making our own dress code actually exists (despite evidence to the contrary). I wholeheartedly disagree with their sentiments. However, my disagreement (as well as a push for us to create our own Occasions on the daily), does not mean I avoid External Occasions. I actually do enjoy them quite a bit.

To me, an External Occasion is like a beach episode. It’s a break from regular shenanigans that still maintains the spirit of the show…but at a new location! This provides the potential for new stories and contexts but without radically changing the dynamic. 

In that way, an External Occasion like a wedding, themed birthday party, or even a work meeting is reframed as a theme. You might even say that the hard work of creating that initial thought starter has been done for us, leading us to do the fun part in pulling things out to see what works. It is still a challenge after all, but one that now focuses more on External factors than our own self-imposed tastes: How can a dresser be in service of those Occasions while keeping their POV intact? The answer is never to have disparate clothing that is only reserved for such events (or even worse, bought for one time use), but to simply be creative and recontextualize what you have and make it work! Forced Versatility works in External Occasions. 

As a result, I’ve learned that even when presented with External Occasions, I still have relative freedom to dress the way I want. And you may not believe me (this is the internet after all), but I was able to do it without any problems of being too bold or flashy (or in the case of Marco’s birthday, too boring). I don’t think any of this has to do with my clout but rather at the fact that you actually do have some freedom in dress codes, at least within the realm of classic/vintage menswear.

For example, I wore black fisherman sandals with my tuxedo to my mom’s wedding. It was a bold choice for some, but it was quite subtle; it was also suitable for the fact that we were on Lake Como. I was also able to wear a collar bar and club shirt for Isabel’s cousin’s wedding. It may have been dandy for some, but it fit right in with the beautiful jewelry and ao dais found all over the ceremony.  For the family funeral, I wore a navy suit and black tie, but kept a bit of a interest going with a very thin striped shirt. It was still very Ethan without going full Esquire Man. 

In fear of being totally conceited, I will say that External Occasions are a boon for me. This is because I get even more wear out of my wardrobe since they inspire me to combine them in ways I don’t really do on a daily basis.

I know I have a lot of clothes, but I am also very aware I have my “uniform” full of self imposed tropes and guidelines, which results in them getting worn in typically “Ethan” ways.  While I am not opposed to the idea, being somber or minimal (mainly regards to tailoring with a tie), isn’t a regular occasion simply because the draw to wearing triple patterns or going sexy is much higher…at least when I have full control over my outfits and daily activities. A wedding or work event provides me the opportunity to show my solid/somber shirts and ties some love. Hell this might be the only time they get to be worn together instead of being used as a respite between patterns or other accouterments. 

In other words, I enjoy these External Events. They add to my library of characters, putting the Esquire Man or 1960s ivy guy at the Beach. Or perhaps more accurately, a client presentation or a wedding. 

I honestly believe the ease in which I’m able to adhere to External Events without feeling I’ve lost myself,  is because “Ethan Style” isn’t really inherently specific items or genres, even if that’s what I love talking about most. It is a mindset, one that focuses on vibes, proportions, and yes, still relies on references to those genres. Dressing for External Occasions is about going through the myriad of themes I’ve logged in my head and finding the right one to wear for the event, much like pulling tropes for a sitcom. Every outfit was still in service of the Occasion’s dress code all while being an authentic extension of myself. After all, it always uses pieces I already own. 

Perhaps the pushback I get is two fold: most people view my everyday attire as Occasion wear or they can’t fathom the idea of me wearing what I do to certain things they may perceive as Occasions.  What’s funny is that despite all my talk about being Bold and Standing Out, I don’t actually think my outfits (and style) are actually that out there.

Earlier this year, I was debating a guy in my DMs about Occasions (the altercation actually inspired that essay) and he brought up one of my outfits that I wore to play piano at church (an occasional thing I do). He pointed out how much more interesting that outfit that one was because to him, it looked like I was dressing for the specific occasion of Going to Church. I later had to explain to him (with evidence) that what I wore to play piano isn’t actually all that different from what I normally wear on a daily basis and that I definitely do not dress for elevating church in mind.  It just happened to have been wearing a rather toned down outfit that day. 

I think he has a bit of a point though. Are outfits more interesting or useful when it has an application to people who have to potential of direct consequences (or effects) to their aesthetics or taste? Is it just better to see how someone balances their attire in the “real world” rather than a playground of their own making That thought can lead to the idea that hobbyists exist in a special world outside of “consequences” or even critique. In other words, it’s easy for me to dress the way I do when nothing really bad happens if I decide to deviate from the culturally expected dress for a specific occasion. Granted, I still don’t think that I deviate in a bad way or go out of my way to be as subversive as possible, but I can see the merit in the critique. 

I’m sure that debate guy would have had an issue with me wearing a tie to Jay’s Friendsmas which specifically called for casual attire. I was the only one wearing a tie, though to be clear it wasn’t in a corporate way; I wasn’t even wearing a sportcoat at all!

It’s easy for me to consider myself “disinterested in profit”, which is small reference to an essay I read ago about how to separate art from commodities. To be clear, I don’t consider making outfits as a high art form, but as I’ve said before, a distinction has to be made as it is entirely possible to get into menswear (at least on social media) for the purposes of monetizing your content and becoming an influencer. Being outside of that realm is good, but it does prevent you from knowing whether or not your “content”/style/thoughts have any merit in the “real” world. 

If I actually had “skin in the game”, through some form of overt monetization (to the point where it is my livelihood instead of an optional tip jar) or perhaps working directly in publication/journalism of menswear, would my ideas be worth anything? Is dressing the way I do just a coward’s way of expressing taste without actually making anything? Is this all just because I know that if I were to have a brand or shop where I sold items of my taste, I wouldn’t actually get any customers because people don’t actually have the same freedom as I do? Is this why I refuse to work directly in menswear, much like how I compose for fun without trying it as a fully-fledged job?

I understand that this takes the side of “usefulness” under a capitalist system, but as we live in a society, it really is hard to ignore.

All I really have are the External Occasions I have been fortunate to attend and abide by. And you know what? I firmly believe that I adhered to the event and made a fit that was firmly in my taste (and as a result, made me happy). It may not be in the same vein as a job interview fit or a strict dress code, but hey, it’s what I got! In fact, I want more of these to happen, just to put my money where my mouth is (short of directly monetizing my content or working full-time in menswear/writing) and see how it affects how I dress. At this point, External Occasions even seem as a bit of a vacation from my constant making of outfits. 

I just hope that if these things happen more often, they are to make sense for my actual day-to-day life and isn’t some radical event for the sake of experience. But outside of weddings and the occasional work event, I don’t see much on the horizon. The closest I may come to are themed parties like Halloween where the prompt to participate is soft, but socially encouraged. In fact, I’m set to go to an 80’s ski lodge themed bar later this week with Spencer and that’s already got me to think about how to use what I already own to be on theme. I’m more used to dressing in the 30s/40s alpine variety, but I’m excited at the prospect of this prompt!

So if you want to see some examples of my External Occasion attire, just look at the photos I’ve included below. There isn’t a lot and it mainly is just wedding attire and a handful of work meeting stuff, but it’s what I got!

But as I finish this post, I just realized something. In that coffee with a friend (that inspired this post), I initially assumed that these outfits were different from my daily attire. Now that I look at it, it really isn’t that different, outside of a gratuitous use of solids and a refrain from foulards and abstract geometrics.  Maybe these External Occasions aren’t separate at all. They are now canonized into my library, allowing me to pull their “specialness” for my everyday attire and making them feel natural. This whole thing is proof that I can combine what I already own and give some love to garments I had previously thought were for specific occasions. Even though I can be given the prompt instead of making it myself, I can still dress like me.

In the end, it’s all just Ethan, through and through!

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Always a pleasure,

Ethan M. Wong

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