Every friend group has a guy who loves to host parties. Jay is that man. He’s behind the annual Friendsgiving that serves as a wholesome occasion to bring people together…and for MJ, Spencer, and I to wear some cool fall fits. And three weeks later, as we trade pumpkins for holly, he was set to host another big gathering: Friendsmas. 

He’s actually already hosted a few of them over the years (and I’ve attended all of them since around 2017) but for some reason, I’ve neglected to write about them. It’s most likely because Friendsmas is a lot more casual; for example, it’s just pizza and alcohol rather than a full potluck and seats. There also isn’t a set dress code like his stated one for Friendsgiving (“smart casual”), but the boys and I tend to wear some sort of cool holiday fit regardless. Again, I’m not sure why I haven’t documented it before; perhaps I was burnt out from each Friendsgiving. 

The 2022 one was the first one I started to really take photos at and it was honestly the best one I had been to. One of the major reasons was that the turn out was a lot bigger than Friendsgiving.  At this point, much like Friendsgiving, it was now more than Jay’s friends from high school plus a few new pals– he then brought in his work friends and encouraged everyone else to invite whoever we wanted, provided we let him know ahead of time. 

Last year, over twenty of us were packed into Jay’s apartment proper (that time, he wasn’t able to get the complex’s event space), which helped us all get comfortable with each other very quickly. Jay likes to facilitate this further by having a mixer contest/game, which is basically a “fact bingo” sheet full of quirks about everyone in attendance; it’s actually really fun and great for getting people to converse.  He provides a prize for the person who fills out the sheet the best, which gives everyone even more of a reason to talk to someone new. 

There’s also a White Elephant exchange that everyone is keen to do. It’s mostly played straight, as Jay encourages gifts that we would want to receive ourselves…though there are always a few joke gifts thrown in.  

I was really looking forward to this latest one, especially since this past Friendsgiving was the biggest one yet. We were all delighted that Jay was able to reserve the event space again, which really opened up the guest list. It was literally going to be Friendsgiving part deux and boy we were ready for it. Over 40 people had RSVP’d to the event, which certainly made everyone get excited for his traditional mixer game as well as a truly epic White Elephant. 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get to the apartment until right when the White Elephant started, which was about half way through the party. I had another event with Isabel’s family that I had already said yes to, but luckily I was able to depart after eating dinner (without rushing, I might add). It was a shame to miss the mixer game but I was glad to still be able to see some friends. Some of them weren’t at Friendsgiving, so it was really nice to get everyone together!

Now as I stated earlier, Friendsmas has a more casual dress code but for your favorite menswear boys, that doesn’t really mean anything. While we may not wear a tie, we still take the opportunity to get fitted! 

My outfit was actually something I made rather quickly, mainly because I didn’t own the star of the rig until a week ago. It’s an epic Hollywood jacket, which features a gabardine front and houndstooth tweed arms/collar; I got it during the December 2023 Rose Bowl, which was quite lucky. I knew that as soon as I had it, I had to wear it immediately. 

And so my theme was “1940s Christmas”, which was a natural extension of my very 1940’s fall attire from Friendsgiving. I’ve written about it before, but the Hollywood jacket serves as a fun alternative to a sportcoat as it looks kind of like a chore coat but with a bit more “formality” and novelty due to the fabrics and wider collar.  Wearing one is a great shortcut to a casual (and youthful) 1940s look; it’s also popular with general Rockabilly fans which is why Hollywood jackets are prized and rare.

A sportshirt with a runaway collar layered on top of the HJ would have been the easy way to wear it (especially since it was a bit warmer that day) but you guys know that I can’t resist the temptation of wearing a tie. Considering the holiday season and the very 1940’s jacket, it was the perfect opportunity to wear a swing tie that displayed red and green abstract geometrics.

In order to emphasize the tie further, I decided to pair it with a dark navy sport shirt. It is a bit of an odd move considering the fact that sport shirts lack a collar band (which makes the tie lay flatter), but it can actually work pretty well. Guys in the ‘40s and ‘50s did this move often, especially in order to get the most out of their shirts!

To ground the outfit further, I wore some lightweight deep-chocolate brown trousers which could honestly pass for true vintage 1940’s pants if only they had dropped loops and a Hollywood waist (I thrifted these). I decided to get a little fun with my socks by wearing one green and one red pair. With the dark brown pants, the colors popped extraordinarily well, being a nice end-cap to my festive 1940s outfit.

And yes, I was totally fine being the only one in a tie. It’s a given that I’m going to stand out!

Spencer seemed to also be on the 1940s wavelength. He paired a red corduroy sportshirt with an epic pair of light blue-grey flecked trousers. I love that he made sure to wear a thin belt! While he didn’t wear a tie with it, he did wear an awesome 1970’s plaid sack jacket, which has bits of red and brownish-green in order to fit the season.

However, I think that the winner of the coolest fit was MJ who brought some Pinoy Pride to the party by wearing a barong. A barong is a Filipino cultural garment that is basically a light silk popover shirt with pearl buttons and embroidery on the front bib. MJ had apparently found his old one and decided to don it to Friendsmas, with my old 1940s camel jacket (I outgrew it) on top and tucking it into a pair of navy pleated chinos. It’s such a cool look that I need to try for myself (maybe with black tie?) once I find one for myself; I definitely don’t fit into the one from high school anymore.

Jay stayed true to his own dresscode and was decidedly casual, wearing cream canvas coveralls with some hype sneakers he recently  SSENSE (I don’t know what they are). It probably was pretty practical considering he was running around being a good host. I did like that he was able to allude to the Christmas spirit by wearing a green bandana. One thing about Jay is that he almost always has on some sort of neckerchief. 

On the subject of people wearing stuff I used to own, you might have noticed that Jay is wearing my old Visivm ruunpe kimono coat that was featured quite heavily in my Safincore article. After a year of the gym, my shoulders have just gotten a bit too broad, which made the kimono coat sit oddly and not come across as slouchy as I would’ve liked. I ended up selling it to Jay at a very generous price (Merry Christmas, Mr. Veale), but don’t worry all– I actually was able to quickly find a replacement in the form of the SuperFussy kimono coat which is much larger and slouchier. Safincore will continue! 

Now enjoy some photos from the day! I actually didn’t take that many, but that’s fine; I was too busy having fun (especially because I was late). 

Perhaps I should host something soon. After all, the only thing I get to host is my birthday and (if it counts) the weekly trivia nights. Maybe I’ll be able to get a little something for NYE…

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Always a pleasure,

Ethan M. Wong

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