Snapshots at Jay’s Dark Academia Friendsgiving 2024

*We bodied this Halo-Halo after he decided on the theme (and sent out the e-vites).*

Jay is a close friend of mine that I barely see. If you’re a long time reader, you’re already familiar with him: the trim, bespectacled guy who is often seen in tonal menswear and a bandana. You might even notice that he wears some of my old clothes, as is the case with MJ, Jay is slightly smaller than me, so he takes what I can no longer fit into. Jay also splits his time between West LA and Orange County so I count it as a treat when I get to spend time with him.

On those rare occasions, we were hanging from an SGV foodhall on a Tuesday, biding our time until it was time for trivia. Jay and I had finished our workday and were simply shooting the shit and being productive with our “side hustles”. I worked on the blog (obviously) and he started the e-vite for his annual Friendsgiving dinner, which I’ve attended each edition since 2016. It’s an Occasion I look forward to simply because I love hanging out with a bunch of friends at one time…and because it’s a good excuse to dress in service of fall. I know that I dress for myself everyday but it’s just nice to have an external reason!

Previous years have simply been a dinner with a generic “fall” dress code (meant to encourage slacks and button ups or sweaters), but this time Jay and his girlfriend Deb decided to give it a proper theme. It was at this food hall where I overheard them settle on it: Dark Academia. I told them that this was a fantastic idea. Not only does it call to mind a “look” but due to its internet-roots, it feels a bit more whimsical, almost cosplay with a bit of irony. This, along with their inclusion of a Pinterest board as a guide, would no doubt assist attendees get more into the spirit of dressing for Jay and Deb’s annual dinner. The theme also helped me get a bit more intentional and pointed with my POV!

I was excited.

It’s easy to think that this theme would be too easy for me. After all, isn’t Ethan Style already a bit “Dark Academic” (aka tonal ivy) with a hint of novelty and drama? Yes, that’s true! I could wear my beloved kimono over a blazer and simply blend together Esquire Man with Safincore. But if I was being critical, that would be the wrong move. That’s a bit too dandy (or wizard core) and I didn’t want to take thunder from my hosts. There’s also the fact that Dark Academia is a bit colloquial in that there is likely an unspoken but agreed upon idea that the party will dress like. Based on the Pinterest board, the outfits were most likely to be more like what we see online with more attention to sweaters and browns instead of being typical Ethan fare. This was a fun challenge!

Going tonal was the clear path here. For the main “base”, I wore my dark-taupe (brown) SB suit. Navy didn’t seem right, grey was a bit too “blah”, and my chocolate brown one is a DB which I didn’t think fit the theme. A fair isle sweater vest was my way of sending up Dark Academia vibe, as it provides texture as well as a fun pattern to make things interesting. I tucked it into my trousers for good measure. The grey lambswool one is relatively new (picked up at a flea during the summer) and it was a great choice to wear with the brown suit; my navy and tan fair isles were too “loud”.

The real concession I made, which helped me embrace the Theme all the more, was in my shirt choice. Instead of wearing my “trademarked” striped shirts (and collar bar), I wore a beige point collar shirt which I think worked really well with the rest of the outfit contrasting both the sweater and the suit. For good measure, I wore a dark olive green striped wool tie to continue the contrast (a black knit was too dark and a navy repp felt out of place). This rig, along with my wire frame eyeglasses, made for what I think was a great Dark Academia fit that still felt very Ethan. I’d even consider it one of my GOAT outfits!

I know this all sounds crazy and obsessive but once I figured out the general idea (brown suit with fair isle and deciding against Safin or wizard core), everything fell into place quite quickly. I’m normal, I swear!

I arrived only a few minutes past 5PM (I shot with my friend Hector and read Stravinsky at my favorite OC coffee shop), but it was already filled with a few people! Jay and Deb had transformed the multi purpose room into a Dark Academic dream complete with candles, random books from his and Spencer’s library, and as always, a spread of delicious food prepared by all of the attendees. The hosts even devised a fun party game that put people on different teams unbeknownst to each other, with the only cue being a shared gesture. It was fun, even if my team was the worst at it!

Looking around the style of the party, I could immediately tell that having a distinct theme helped people dress up for it. You could find sweater vests, wool skirts, loafers, and ties all around the room as people caught up over libations (I brought orange wine), ate some truly delicious turkey, and pinned their wildest secrets anonymously on the bookcase (some of which were truly insane).

Jay took the opportunity to wear a gold and black jaunty scarf over a grey lambswool sweater. MJ wore an OCBD and houndstooth jacket but gave a subtle nod to Safincore with a black double breasted sweater vest. Spencer wasn’t exactly academic apart from his sweater vest, but his palette was quite fall thanks to his corduroy jacket, plaid shirt, and burgundy tie. This might have been the best we’ve ever looked for Friendsgiving!

And as per usual, I couldn’t help but take photos. It’s hard not to when the people in front of you are having such a fun time and wearing a cool outfit! I can only imagine just how wild the upcoming Friendsmas Party will be.

Maybe Jay will have a theme for that one too!