I think it’s funny that the big thing written on this blog, perhaps bigger than me coming around on “Outfit Repeating” (I still prefer to refer to it as “Getting Inspired From Yourself”, is the decision to go Private. On Instagram, I mean.

I briefly talk about this matter on the latest pod (around the 20-minute mark), but in true Ethan fashion, I felt like a long blog post was appropriate, if only as a way to do my feelings justice. If you’re an IRL friend or even a member of my Patreon Discord, you likely have heard these sentiments already! But I’ll share them here with you, dear reader. It’ll be fun to reference if I ever choose to reverse my decision down the line.

Honestly, this blog post is incredibly self-important and a big hullabaloo just to say “you can just catch me on the blog and pod and not my IG”. It’s not a big deal, but I wrote a reflection anyway. So read on if you want!

Now you guys know that I’ve always used my Instagram as a personal account. Brand deals, a portfolio— those things were never my aim for IG or my social media presence in general; as such I’ve I’ve never considered myself a true influencer. Yes, it’s been a place where I post my fits, direct you to the latest pod/blogs (and recap them), share my biased opinions about menswear, and on occasion, give recommendations and pointed advice— but it’s also more than that. I also gleefully share photos of my friends and family, be they silly or “professional”, as well as lambast my unfortunate followers with unsolicited opinions about movies and music. 

Like my chaotic Tumblr before it, my IG is a place to host whatever dumb shit I feel like posting about, much to the chagrin of my followers. Menswear people could see my real life and non-menswear interests, while my IRL pals were treated to my corny thoughts on clothes and how I approach getting dressed. It was always a mix. But as menswear was my main output, like my fit pics and my long story dumps on clothing topics, I never wanted it to be the main focus of my IG. I just wanted to be a normal guy who happened to like posting about his hobby, not unlike Gunpla, baking, or Legos.

Compartmentalizing my two “sides” by having separate accounts was always out of the question because I felt like each facet informed the other in its own absurd way. So much of my blog has been about introspecting on my life and tastes, and how I use clothing to express certain aspects of those things. In that way, it would be very odd to become a true influencer, whether full-time or even as a side hustle. Not only do I think it’s odd to share opinions (or fits) that are rooted in monetary gain or the pursuit of clout, but also, it would be my own personal hell to constantly evaluate my engagement and “correct course” based on feedback in order to keep the money/clout going. No, thank you!  Posting for fun was always where it was at. It didn’t matter if my fits didn’t get a lot of likes, if no one agreed with my takes on film score, or if people weren’t taken with what I decided to photograph. I just wanted to share what I liked, whatever it happened to be.

However, it’s been apparent that what I’ve preferred to post has shifted even further away from Menswear– at least when it came to Instagram (the blog and pod are more focused on menswear). This shift has been a long time coming, after being online for quite a long time lamenting the rise of optimized, engagement-driven influencer-style content in the menswear space, whether it’s actually sponsored or simply “aspirational”— Social media is a Resume after all. The popularity of that type of content has certainly had an effect on me, namely in how I want to be perceived, which is a hard thing to confront when I’ve been so only openly online for the majority of my life…and that I simply like to post.

You guys have probably already noticed this shift from “Menswear Content” to “Personal Content”. [I hate that word, because it’s really not content-content, it’s just what’s going on with my life.]

As I’ve largely completed codifying the different ways I think about clothing (Expression, Cinematic Dressing, Occasions) and have waxed rhapsodic over my favorite pieces (spearpoints, fedoras, navy suits), it makes sense for the era of deep-dive menswear “content” to be over. That’s not to say that all of those things weren’t rooted in very personal aspects of my life, but it’s clear that the stuff now is much more about what I’m up to rather than squarely on the clothes. This coincides with how much my style has largely stabilized, in what I buy and how I wear it; the blog on Revisiting Outfit Repeating is proof of that. And so, it makes sense that all that’s left is to talk about how these things factor into my regular life— and vice versa.

Right now, the Menswear Content on my IG comes in the form of sporadic story announcements of blog/pods and the Fit Dumps, which contain 10 fits (almost always reflecting 10 days of outfits, unless I did a mid-day costume change for an event) for consolidated posting; with the carousel function, there was no need to have one dedicated post per outfit.  It was only natural for Menswear posts to be diluted by other, more personal/IRL leaning things like Life Dumps full of silly photos (echoing my chaotic non-Menswear IG Story posting) or my photography. 

The latter has really amped up over the past year or so, almost like an “artistic” version of the shenanigans you see in my IG stories. It was certainly a conscious decision to go black-and-white. With the format’s focus on values and creating drama, it was a way for me to get more into the photography of it all and have my posts function less as content, like a wanna be editorial or lookbook. Color photography is indeed artistic, but it has a history of being associated with advertising, making it easier to showcase and sell products. It certainly functions the same way on social media, where if you want to post about menswear (or yourself), it just makes sense to put it in color; it’s all about being accessible and optimized for engagement. It’s not that black and white photos can’t be monetized or perform well, but I do think it’s a bit “harder” to get into— especially when it’s not even about photographing menswear personalities.

At this point, I just want to post about my life, what I’m doing, the people I’m seeing, and how I see them– whether it’s a blurry smartphone pic or a dramatic, photojournalist-style snap taken from my DSLR, and the large 35mm prime lens that makes me look like a fool when I bring it around. It’s just clear that I generally like taking photos, almost as much as I like making (and wearing) fun little outfits.

Honestly, this “break” from dedicated menswear posting felt good.

After all, I always wanted to be considered a “regular guy” who happens to wear fun clothes– and does not get paid for any of it. The dilution helped me feel more “regular”. But then something happened.  With all my posts on main being much more personal, again echoing how I approach my stories to begin with, I began to feel weird. Yes, my Menswear Posting has always had a personal lean as I always included insights into my regular life as well as family and friends, but now it was decidedly more about the latter than the clothing. It was still all about me and what I wanted to post, but the focus had changed…and not the people who could see it. And so, I started to feel self-aware, not just about my 30K followers but that I’ve been on the internet – publicly –  for a long time.  For the first time, being on the internet started to make me feel a bit anxious. 

This sentiment was likely exacerbated by my 30th birthday earlier this year. It’s no secret that I’ve been feeling exponentially more introspective and even nostalgic as of late. Re-evaluating just how I engage with my hobbies as well as the internet, made sense. Suddenly, I realized how odd it’s been to be public for the past decade (or longer, when you consider other social media platforms). It’s quite funny to occasionally see photos of myself pop up on other people’s inspo albums, or even as an example of outfits to avoid. Recognition can indeed feel cool, but it wasn’t a regular occurrence, especially in recent years. Any recognition I’ve gathered has been regularly diluted by much more prolific influencers; I’ve also been eclipsed by more than a few of my fellow hobbyist-compatriots, of whom I am very proud! This is all a good thing. After all, I’ve really enjoyed making friends with non-menswear people, or at least people who don’t know who I am.

Even if I appreciated the reach I was afforded for my message, which again, was to share what I consider to be “alternative”, or flat out odd, ways to think about classic menswear (like pocket fisting or how navy suits are platonic), I began to feel a bit more sensitive about sharing non-menswear stuff. I felt like I needed to do something to help me feel better about how much more Personal I’ve been. And so, now that I’ve turned 30 and am all too aware of being so online for so long, I knew that I wanted some form of finality, a conclusion without being a complete departure. But what would that mean?

As you all have seen me hint at in previous posts, I entertained the idea of “ending” the blog and perhaps even the podcast. No, not deleting it (it will always be around for reference), but to simply stop posting.  After all, I had already written about all the Big Topics I’ve thought about; this even echoes how I’m not really buying much at all anymore. But even with that sentiment, it was clear that I still enjoy reflecting and writing on my life– and menswear, or rather the Prompts on What To Wear will always be a part of that. 

With the latest blog posts and podcast episodes being indicative of that refocus, and still resulting in a product that I enjoy, the thought of ending either of them felt like a bunch of bunk. There will always be something to introspect on, some Occasion or Event in life to evaluate and see how it affects what clothes we wear. And at this point, sharing is for me as much as it is for the “reader”, by which I mean whatever unfortunate soul deigns to read these self-indulgent articles. 

I realized that the blog/pod wasn’t the issue– it was Instagram. After all, it is my most “active” platform, and the one I post to without thinking. And so, the thought of deleting, or at least deactivating, my account did cross my mind. Why not just escape the Realm entirely and commit to touching grass, or rather, fostering real-life connections and hobbies? That sounded appealing for a quick second, as I soon recalled the realities of adult life: people are not always free, whether or not they are on the internet. Instagram is still quite social, a way to keep up with people and communicate, with as much depth as you prefer. And yes, I do enjoy scrolling on occasion. But more than that, I enjoy posting. 

That’s when it was clear to me that I viewed my IG in the same way as my blog. It is an ongoing record of what excites (or Inspires) me to post.  There is something therapeutic about this silly activity– to take the cacophony of stimuli and distill it into something, a picture with a caption, and share it for the world to see. Posts are a record of what called out to you in the world (externally and internally), and I like that Instagram, like Tumblr before it, was a place to store them– to show.  With its literal grid presentation,  Instagram effectively provides you with a clean, diary-meets-art gallery. It makes your “work”, our output, whatever it happens to be, look clean and easily consumable for other people… and yourself.

While it’s totally fine to keep your fits and favorite photos in your camera roll/archive and not share them online, I find scrolling through your phone or computer’s file system far too clunky. Swiping through it feels messy and a bit disorganized, especially if you have other things in your camera roll (receipts, work materials, inspo).  While folders and tags can help organize the “mess”, a camera roll doesn’t sufficiently present them in a way that I like, namely, narratively or thematically.

I liked that Instagram was a medium to curate your output and put it into a clean place, even if it’s mainly for me and whoever happens to come across it. It’s the gallery presentation vs. the backroom file archive.  In that way, posting isn’t just about sharing something publicly, but about letting myself organize my thoughts and emotions. I know I talk a lot, but there is quite a difference between how I discuss things on the pod and how they are done on the blog— and by extension, on Instagram.

Granted, I have no defense for my spam-like approach to IG stories. That’s truly the place where I just do whatever and share anything I’m up to, whether it’s “nicely presented” or not. Perhaps I’m starting to feel a bit embarrassed that so many people are treated to my dumbass shenanigans, like me singing “Bikini Bottom Day” from the SpongeBob musical. In any case, I know this whole thing is silly and incrediblly chronically-online of me, but I knew that I didn’t want to stop posting, let alone delete my IG.

And so in the end, I decided to simply go private. This obviously wouldn’t instantly turn me into an internet enigma like Derek or erase my existing, albeit small amount of “celebrity” (even that is too big a word), but it would mark the start of a new era– and help express a theme of “finality” that I’ve been looking for. 

This obviously was a topic of discussion with many of my closet friends. One them was incredibly insightful, and told me that this whole thing seemed to be about themes of access and connection. They admitted that they felt it was indeed odd that I have been so publicly online for over a decade without it being tied to my career or any sort of income. If anything, it was an approach to social media that was unfamiliar to them. While a handful of my friends and mutuals are creatives who need a public portfolio to show off work, none of them are true influencers. They certainly aren’t as “open” on those accounts, keeping their personal life (and thoughts) on separate, private profiles. But even my friends who do not need a public portfolio sitll keep private accounts, indeed have private accounts. The people they follow and the people who follow them back are only those they are quite familiar with, to varying degrees, of course.  The idea of only being followed by a form of mutual is foreign to me. This started to feel quite intriguing to me.

Don’t get me wrong– I am a social person, but that is predicated on hanging out with existing friends, instead of constantly making new connections. Don’t get me wrong– I’ve certainly been lucky to have met truly fantastic and creative people all around the world thanks to the internet; some have become quite close friends. But that group is still quite a bit smaller than the number of people who follow me, let alone the potential people who can come across my public profile. Again, this was fine when I was trying to get my message out there (or when I was trying to make more menswear-friends), but as that has stabilized, the access just seems a bit too much for me, especially since all I do is post photos of my friends and loved ones (and my dumb stories). After all, my Facebook, which contains a lot of the same posts/photos as my IG, is completely private, with only IRL friends and family (or at least people I’ve actually met) on there. At this point, with my current output, it does make sense for my Instagram to follow suit!

To be clear, I’ve never had too much of an issue with being public on IG.  Even though I’ve had my share of critics and a few public debates (which feels silly in retrospect, even if many of them inspired a lot of my introspective blog posts), the digital horde has never been too mean. At this point, I think the people who have a problem with me, whether it’s my style, philosophical/political ideology, or just my cringe-ass demeanor, have largely left me alone or kept to themselves. The 30K or so who decided to keep up with me and have stuck around— especially the ones who regularly engage and comment — have all been quite lovely!

In fact, it’s that relatively low number of engagement, likely due to my predilection for non-socially optimized outfits and content (nothing I post is particularly punchy, consistent, or even hastaged appropriately), that it never felt like I actually had 31K people following my digital moves. Outside of IRL non-menswear friends, who already use social media infrequently, I recognized that most responses to my stuff came from the same friendly users (who also range from having public and private accounts). You can go through my posts– I really don’t get that much attention. That’s why I try my best to respond to every inquiry I get in my comments or DMs. Thankfully, no one’s ever been too parasocial for my comfort! But even so, I still think Going Private would be the best move. 

Going private would essentially functions as a cap, a way to make it so that future connections would be predicated on being a bit more personal. If not an IRL meeting, then a mutual or at least an online exchange, something that is more grounded than being (or feeling) random.  I’m reminded of Arthur, a new pal of mine that I met at Freenote Cloth, or the young menswear enthusiast who struck up a conversation with me about braces and Saville Row housest while we waited for our boba (he liked Gieves & Hawkes). It was fun to become connected after the chat; only now can they see what I’ve been up to and the random thoughts that I have. Having a bit of that barrier makes me feel just a bit better about continually posting, seeing as that I will likely never stop (because I am dumb). 

In that way, going private is as much about how I personally connect with people as it is about how they connect with me.

So what happens next? For those of you who already follow me, nothing will change. It’ll be like nothing even happened! I’m still going to continue posting on my main IG like I normally do, with that mix of fit pics, life dumps, and black and white photography of my friends. Things might even be a bit more chaotic and personal (likely my IG stories), simply because of the implication that whoever is around to see it has chosen to keep up with me. At the very least, it’ll help me feel more comfortable with how personal my posts are. 

Rest assured, I’m not going to remove any existing followers. Not only would 30K~ be a lot to manually remove, but I like the idea that those people have already “opted in”— and can also opt out at any time. I’ll likely still allow followers in on occasion, but having a mutual connection or some sort of communication first would help. I’ll also be around to answer curious DMs when I get around to it!

I also haven’t firmly decided if my TikTok would also be private. What’s interesting is that I’m much more “fit-focused” on there, simply because I prefer writing to recording long talking videos. I also don’t have nearly the same followers or even reach (again, because my TikToks aren’t that interesting or viral-worthy). However, time will tell if I also want to make those friends or followers only. 

Of course, if you’re only into this for the real Menswear Content, then the blog and pod will always be available to you. I have no plans to stop writing or to stop recording my chats with Spencer and MJ. The only thing that has changed will be that seeing it in real time, or the random thoughts and shit I’m up to, will be seen first by people I know, or those who made it in before the cap. I do feel bad about not being able to share my fit dumps publicly (they will still be on my IG), but perhaps I’ll just make a small gallery on each blog post so you can keep up with it. Perhaps at some point in the future, my IG won’t have any dedicated menswear content!  I don’t know yet.

All of this reminds me of how, if you wanted to have an idea of what a writer was thinking, feeling, or doing, you’d have to wait for their book or column to come out, rather than be able to follow their every move. I am no author or any sort of true artist (even if I talk a big game), but I like that sentiment of engaging with their output rather than everything in their life. In fact, I found myself a bit envious of Derek, who, despite his fame and influence, has been very successful at maintaining anonymity. Sure, I could always stop sharing things openly, but as I said, that’s not going to happen; I’d rather put an external limiter on that.  After all, sharing my life has been such a big part of who I am…and my entire approach to menswear and the internet in general. 

I also think it’s quite cool to have a blog/website be the “main” place to engage with me or see what I’m up to.

The fact that I’ve been public on social for so long made me mull on this decision for quite some time. After all, this was because I never wanted to be a gatekeeper, let alone be an influencer who capitalizes on their outfits. All I wanted to do was demystify classic menswear in a way that was internally driven rather than externally motivated. I strived to share openly, all in the hope that a follower or a curious looky-loo can learn something about menswear or gain confidence in dressing for fun.  And so, there was a big part of me felt that being private was antithetical to this sentiment. 

In fact, this whole thing reminded me of how a certain menswear store that I used to like to follow went private on IG. You could see their content if you were an existing client and or one of their industry friends; I fell into neither camp.  As they already didn’t have a website, their Instagram was the only place to see their products, outside of visiting their store in London. Even if I was never going to be a client (due to price and the fact that I do not travel to London regularly), I genuinely enjoyed their posts and found them quite inspiring. 

While their decision to go private is their own business and certainly ups their “cool status” and street credit, I felt a bit disappointed. I wasn’t because I felt entitled to their content, but because I think it’s weird to make your brand accessible only to a chosen few. I also believe that even if someone isn’t a customer, they can still gain something from your brand, whether it’s by appreciating or learning about details, as well as getting inspired by how you style your pieces. Closing that off felt a bit elitist or at least gatekeeping, which perhaps they wanted to invoke. And that is an attitude I’ve strived to avoid, which is why this weighed on my mind quite a bit.

Even though I’m not selling a specific product, I like to think that anyone can get into my approach to menswear. It’s okay if my particular form of expression wasn’t someone’s cup of tea; I don’t blame people for not being into fedoras, long collars, or wearing kimono-style coats with tailoring. The point is that all of it is a case study: to develop an appreciation for details, be aware of expressiveness, and leverage all of it as a POV. I truly believe that everyone can and should have access to those ideas and fits that support them. And in a way, that extended to my regular life too.

I’ve always felt that being so public actually helped my menswear message, with my social presence (and long history) providing the necessary context behind my wacky philosophy. I am not someone who is doing this to be famous, to get sponsorships, or even to work in the industry. I am indeed a real person who simply likes to wear this stuff to whatever he happens to be up to, whether it’s reading alone at coffee shops or hanging out with my friends (who are not even all menswear people). 

I thought that without open and accessible “proof”, it would be too big of an ask to have people “take me at my word” and believe that anyone can just wear a suit for fun and Stand Out.  The hope was that posting about life, just like my friends and family do about their own activities, one would be able to understand that I do indeed dress this way for all of the activities that my life happens to have; it wasn’t just for the blog. 

Perhaps the lesson here is that being that open and having my life be that accessible is unnecessary now. Not only have I already made many cases for my absurd ideas, but I’ve clearly been able to be personal on the blog and podcast. Obviously, the aspects of my life that I choose to share on there are presented and curated, at least compared to my chaotic Instagram, but I still think it’s pretty representative of my actual life. Sharing copious amounts of photos probably helps in that regard. All that to say, I guess I needed to realize that people don’t need to see everything to get me, at least not in real time. 

A big part of this is simply knowing that I’ll be private. As I get into my thirties and want to spend my time with actual friends and mutuals, it’s a bit more comforting to know that the people who are here actually want to be there…at least after that 31K~ mark (lol). And while the content of my IG posts will not change, I am intrigued to see how knowing that my “main platform” is private will affect how I write about my life on the blog and pod, which again, will always be public (for now, at least). A one-directional platform for my thoughts and feelings will be new for me. I don’t see it as an echo chamber, but rather an opportunity to be a bit more considered, as this will be the only place to know what’s going on in my noggin and in my life.

It’s really silly how this whole thing is just a huge bunch of nothing. Some of you may even know I used to clown on people who did this sort of thing, making a big hullabaloo over taking a break from posting, as if it was such a big deal. It certainly seemed performative, like a cry for attention. Feel free to tease me about this hypocrisy! But honestly, I get it now, and I certainly empathize with the sentiment. It is indeed quite a deal to change up your presence, especially if people are used to a certain amount of access— and especially if you, the poster, are used to a particular level of openness. As I’ve said many times in this post, being so accessible has been a big part of my personality, fashion, and my entire approach to media/culture. Sharing fits, this blog, the podcast, it’s been for me as much as it has been for you, or whoever happened to stumble across it. But now, separation and a finality-of-sorts, feel quite attractive.

And so here we are. A big step to being even less of an influencer, if I ever even was one to begin with. Ain’t no one going to pay a private account to post something!

At the risk of being cringe and parasocial, I do want to share just how much I appreciate those of you who chose to follow me, and especially the ones who respond and have a conversation, as long or short as they are. As I am not an influencer who makes money off of their following, it is quite nice to know that a handful of you find me interesting enough to keep up with, riding boots and all. 

It’s not like I’m actually disappearing. After all, plenty of my fits exist on the internet, and as the above blog post on Outfit Repeating (again) proves, Old Ethan is just as good as Current Ethan. And unlike that aforementioned brand, “Ethan” will still be around, posting about menswear, only publicly accessible through the blog and the podcast. If you want something a bit more (but don’t want to pay for my Patreon), I’m also semi-active in a handful of fashion discords like Weejawnz or MFA.  In fact, you might like that experience better since you won’t have to endure hipster-ass black and white photographs, dumb Star Wars takes, amateur film score analyses, and trivia fails just to get some menswear. 

The blog and pod are more than enough Ethan for the world to see…outside of running into me in the wild. I’m doing you all a favor, believe me! 

– end of blog post –  

Thanks for listening and reading along! Don’t forget to support us on Patreon to get some extra content and access to our exclusive Discord. 

The Podcast is produced by MJ.

Always a pleasure,

Ethan