[Soft] Black Tie For NYE 2023

This may come to a surprise to a few of you, but I’ve actually never had a black tie party for NYE. At least during my tenure as a die-hard menswear enthusiast that is!

When I was in high school and early college who was vaguely into wearing suits, I actually did wear a tux (or what was mangled together from thrifted or mall pieces) on NYE proper. It was definitely a silly, novelty thing, where I and one additional, supportive friend would be wearing tuxes while we all played Super Smash Bros. and drank boba as we awaited the delivery of Baby New Year. It was silly, but it was also wholesome. Of course as I got older, NYE gatherings were more “normal” and a tux would have been out of place and certainly not conducive to the situation. Even I have limits!

Keen readers will know that I’ve done a handful of black tie things around NYE (such as visiting the Cicada Club during my vintage days even though I don’t swing dance), but never on the actual evening of the ball drop. I also just stopped going because my circles and interests have changed over the years, but that just meant there was never a true black tie event to go to. Not even Dapper Day does them! In the end, it always points to creating our own Occasions, which I’ve certainly done by attending the symphony in variations of Creative Black Tie. In fact, a few friends have even joined in on the fun, wearing fun outfits to see Dudamel or the LA Opera.

That made me wonder: would the friend I have now actually be interested in donning evening wear for a party on NYE? Would I be able to realize High School Ethan’s dream?

What’s the difference? Probably a lot tbh (and hopefully in a good way).

The question was answered when I shared the idea with my friends. They were all for it, at least the ones who were going to be in town for the holiday. This wasn’t going to be as wild as my birthday party where nearly 50 people actually showed up. Quick shout out to my mom who always lets me use her place to host parties since it can actually hold a fair bit of people!

As was expected, not all of my friends (and their friends too, I opened up the invite because people should have friends on NYE!) have fancy clothes or suits, but I told them that wasn’t an issue. I assured everyone that the theme was encouraged but not mandatory in the slightest. I simply asked attendees to dress up in their best/favorite clothes! I did add the caveat there will be a handful of people (AKA Spencer, MJ, and I) that will be wearing variations of creative black tie and to not feel intimidated. While I can understand the merit of dress codes for certain situations (like a wedding) this party was just meant to be fun, so I didn’t want anyone to feel left out if they didn’t own a tuxedo. Hell, I didn’t even own a full tuxedo until my mom’s wedding!

Initially, I was expecting there to only be about 10-12 people to show up because most people were with family or were hosting things of their own. But in the end, we ended up having just over 20 which made for a fun mix of friends, old and new (I even met a few new people that night!). And to my delight, a few people did adhere to the theme! Obviously it wasn’t everyone, but that was always okay! I don’t think anyone was intimidated, felt left out, or stood out (in a bad way). It probably helped that everyone who did dress up did so in a slouchy and comfortable way, which showed more fun than begrudging adherence to a mandatory dress code.

None of us were in strict black tie, which I think helped make the theme feel more easy going and optional (but still encouraged).

Been really loving MJ’s uses of the Barong during events! He first pulled this move at Friendsmas.

I took these at the end of the party, which is why his bow tie is undone.

Spencer did a cool move by wearing a burgundy jacquard dinner jacket with his denim sawtooth, black western pants and newly acquired suede horsebits; a silk cummerbund helped keep the theme firmly in evening wear. MJ went without a tux shirt and bowtie and instead invoked Pinoy Pride by way of a band collar barong in a black/white gradient with his dinner jacket and tuxedo trousers. I was probably the most “traditional” as I wore a wing collar and a tux jacket but I lost that trad vibe when I got to the pants, as I wore the black chino senior pants I created during my most recent birthday. I think it looked great, especially with the gold socks (for NYE) and opera pumps.

The SaD Boys weren’t alone as we had a few people join in on the theme! Michael (an excellent watchmaker btw), wore a burgundy 40s sportcoat (not a dinner jacket) with grey pinstripe pants, which I thought was such a cool move; he did wear a white dress shirt and black bow tie to point toward evening wear. To round out the black tie dressers, Taylor wore his old chamber singers uniform, Jarod wore an old tux, and newcomer Frankie had an excellent dinner jacket and even a proper marcella tux shirt!

I actually think the girls and theys were the best with a plethora of cool pants, dresses, and overall combos that I think worked for a NYE shindig. Paula and Kendall as well as Mekleit and Glinda (who you will see in the photo dump below) were some of my favorites. Grace almost took the cake with her pink dress, shrimp necklace, and floral hat, seemingly echoing a shrimp cocktail or meat platter. However, in fear of being biased, I really adored Isabel’s cream dress; it was made from kimono silk and featured different patterns and stitches done in orange stitching which she echoed with her earrings.

Of course that accounts for only half of the people out of the 20~ who attended. But believe you me, everyone else also looked fantastic, even if they weren’t in black tie! Scott, my friend from high school, looked nice in black tie (literally) and black bomber jacket, which was certainly in service of the theme. Auden, who was visiting from NYC, was not expecting to come to a black tie party while she was here, still looked great and in their trademarked slouchy, menswear-adjacent looks. Mac and new friend DJ were also easy going and chic in their everyday workwear attire.

I believe those people definitely helped everyone know that the black tie theme was definitely not mandatory in the slightest. Even if I (or a friend) wore a traditional black tie, I still think it would’ve been fine– the vibes of the party, the people, and the outfit were incredibly positive and wholesome.

Michael is making me want to get a burgundy SB jacket again. I outgrew my old 60s one and gave it to a friend!

Auden looked cool (and slouchy) as hell.

Whenever Grace is around, I’m certainly no longer the boldest dresser there. I’m so happy she full sends her outfits!

Love the gold theme from Kendall and Paula.

I’m so glad that everyone had a great time, especially since this was the first party I’ve hosted that wasn’t just on my birthday. I even made a charcuterie board, which I had never done before! I have a reputation for planning events, but they’re always just casual hangs like the weekly trivia nights or suggesting to go to a bar on the weekend. Maybe this is proof that we can do more, like something for July 4th or the Oscars…provided that my mom lets me use her place again.

All of that will be things to potentially try out in this new year. But for now, I’ll just revel in the post-NYE glow and appreciate the fact that everything worked out perfectly, even if I did dictate a “theme”. It’s all proof that menswear and non-menswear people can always hang out together and have a great time! And if anything, this was here to encourage people to make their own Occasions instead of relying on if an External one will ever come.

I just wanted to be able to wear my tuxedo more times during the year, even if it was only the jacket!